> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://danielkherndon.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # The Rural Juror - URL: https://danielkherndon.com/the-rural-juror/ - Published: 2026-05-15T10:30:11.000Z - Updated: 2026-05-15T10:30:10.000Z - Description: I was there for you. And I expect you to be there for me one day, when my day comes. - Author: Daniel Herndon - Tags: Articles **You're reading The Lorem Ipsum by Daniel Herndon. A Funny Email About Serious Topics. Make sure your inbox isn't left out.* ***Sign up** [***here**](https://www.danielkherndon.com/?ref=danielkherndon.com#/portal/signup/free)***.** --- Hey Friends, It's your civic duty to serve. Every day, some criminal libertine faces a judge, and it's your job as a fellow citizen to be there in the gap for him to demonstrate that it's hard to prove a crime that was committed when no one was looking. I fulfilled that duty this week. Almost. I received the honorable commission from the Marion County Criminal Justice Center, located right by Rural Avenue in Indianapolis. I'm reminded of the Rural Juror from 30 Rock. This time, I am that Rural Juror. They requested my appearance, to dutifully serve my community, and my country (but at minimum, my county) by being considered for jury duty. Consider it done, I said. I showed up with my shirt tucked in and a local version of patriotism, to be a prospective 8% of the only thing between one man and the gas chamber (or maybe 180 days time served plus a fine not to exceed $2,000). The defendant was being charged with an act of domestic violence, causing injury to his pregnant wife. I was the last person of 200 people to be questioned, and the question after hours of deliberation was "And, what about you, Juror number 37?" I said, "What do you want to know? I've been on the board of an anti-domestic violence organization for some 10 years." Just then, the judge told the defense their time was up. I was dismissed after four and a half hours of service to my ~~country~~ county. You're welcome. Was I writing a newsletter? No. Was I driving millions of dollars in sales to create jobs across America? No. I was selflessly waiting to be fair and impartial on behalf of my fellow citizen, a criminal. Who was, by the way, definitely guilty. Let's get to ***The News***. --- - President Trump continues to celebrate the victories of his war in Iran. As Trump says, Iran is a dried cracker with no milk. While a report from his intelligence administration this week [contradicted his claims](https://www.nytimes.com/2026/05/12/us/politics/iran-missiles-us-intelligence.html?ref=danielkherndon.com) about Iran's ability to respond. Basically, if his team, which doesn't have a PR department, is correct, they are the Ritz crackers, and while it may only be 70% of what they had before, they have a whole block of cheese. - Alex Murdaugh, the attorney in a true crime hit saga, was eventually convicted of the murder of his wife and son, apparently to cover up massive financial crimes. This week, his murder conviction [was overturned,](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/alex-murdaugh-murder-conviction-overturned-state-supreme-court-rcna344926?ref=danielkherndon.com) requiring a new trial. Thankfully, he has more than 40 years of prison time to work before he dies/get's released to clear his name of murder. - Trump met with Xi, and the [only takeaway](https://www.nbcnews.com/world/china/xi-warns-trump-taiwan-conflict-summit-beijing-china-us-rcna345069?ref=danielkherndon.com) we have is that, during a wide-stance handshake, Trump tried to pull Xi's hand down to his junk. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/06/12/06129303-38fb-4088-8aa2-412bc3b2598c/content/images/2026/05/Trump-Wide-Stance-2.jpg) - Dr. Oz, in an Oval Office press conference/presidential nap, said that [most Americans](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/dr-oz-fertility-crisis-population-b2974957.html?ref=danielkherndon.com) are "underbabied." That's it! That's the take! --- That's it for this week. ***Remember***: The Lorem Ipsum is fair and impartial, and always just. Share a copy with a jury's worth of your peers. ***Have a great weekend!*** --- ❤️ If you want to support my work, consider [becoming a Founder](https://www.danielkherndon.com/?ref=danielkherndon.com#/portal/signup) for $5/mo or just leave a [tip](https://www.danielkherndon.com/?ref=danielkherndon.com#/portal/support). ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/06/12/06129303-38fb-4088-8aa2-412bc3b2598c/content/images/2025/11/HRNDN-Banner-Ad.png) Supported by ****HRNDN Brand Agency**. Brand Strategy. Marketing Leadership.