A Brief Lesson on How to Be Mick Jagger

Hey Friends,

Lately, I've been having conversations with people who want to gain skills that will allow them to go further in life. They want their jokes to land better; they want their hips to gyrate more seductively, or learn how to show the right amount of flair without counting the pieces.

It's the "It" factor that we're talking about. Because most people don't know what it is, but we all still want to figure out how to monetize it.

Like any transformative ingredient, the first question is always cost. "What does it cost to be that skinny and does it come in pill format or a shot?" or "If I wanted to have a captivating presence and inspire everyone I come in contact with, how much does do you charge for the class, and should I block off 90 minutes for it, or the whole afternoon?"

Most Mackenzie type consultants will charge you an arm and a leg just to tell you that you have to have a knack for it. But how much does it cost to get a "knack" for something? Do they have them at Costco? Is it like an Instapot where you buy one knack but you can add many attachments for different things? Want to be able to select an outfit in five minutes and look like a runway model? There's a knack for that. Want to stand on a stage with a guitar and instantly cause a room full of girls to melt in front of you? There's a knack for that.

As a brand consultant, I'm the guy they ask for help. In fact, not to make this a commercial (and this is not a paid endorsement of my brand agency, so you can rest assured this is a totally objective review, as I'm paying myself nothing to share this), this past week, I launched two campaigns that were long in the making.

In Los Angeles, I worked with an organization that helps women support their families, develop their careers and in general get ahead. We rebranded them, and launched their new name and a campaign this week with great fanfare surrounding it. People all over the world are donating here to keep their mission alive.

Then, for a company in Prescott, AZ, I completed a campaign that features the value of the real thing in the highly sought after luxury category of premium handmade Native American jewelry. You can watch the film here.

I spend my days developing brand strategies like these, creating marketing campaigns, filming commercials and helping companies develop their image. Basically anything that's entirely subjective and not regulated by the government, I probably do that. If you want to look great, I'm the guy. Often people ask me, "how do you do it, Daniel (if that really is your name)?" or more importantly, "Can we take this mantle of creative genius on for ourselves?"

Sometimes the requests are more focused."I see that you sent an email this week, Daniel. Can I send emails too, and how much does that cost?" or "If I buy a camera and a V neck T shirt, will my storytelling devices be equally as inspiring as yours?"

It's an easy question because the answer is "No," "Good Luck," or "Sorry, isn't it about time for lunch?" Teaching someone how to put lightning in a bottle is like teaching a dog to wink at you every time he spills the trashcan all over the floor and leaves it for you to clean up. If you want to possess a recipe for sauce without giving away its secret, you need to know it already.

But that doesn't mean I can't help you. If you're generally very mediocre and you want to be more along the lines of great, you probably only need to make adjustments that are only a couple clicks away from where you are today.

For example, if you want to be Chris Hemsworth instead of Michael Cera, what does it take besides jaw surgery? Believe it or not, being incredible might be easier than you think. Let's wash that hair, but not today. Yesterday. I want you to wash it yesterday. Also, we'll make a slight adjustment to that smirk, and teach you to look through someones soul instead of stare at their chest, and boom. You're a stud.

If Michael Jackson can do it, so can you. Endure 20 years of abuse, and milk baths if you want, but I say skip all the fluff and just start dancing in a way that mesmerizes audiences today, instead of waiting until later.

So take Mick Jagger, the global legend and Rock n' Roll hall of Fame inductee with 13 number #1 hits, for example. Most men under 160 pounds aren't that much different than the Rolling Stones front man who was knighted in 2003. A little lip filler and 60 years of smoking, and you might be a near composite. When Mick Jagger goes on tour, his stage moves are lauded as "magical", but in middle America, where many of you are reading this humble newsletter, "moves like Jagger" are just called "moves." Even Jagger's signature gait and eccentric footwork is something some people will get surgery, and wear leg braces for 4 years in middle school to get rid of, stop doing coke, depending on your current situation. Try embracing it instead and before you know it, you're a rock star waiting for your next album to drop.

Whenever someone asks me how to become Mick Jagger, I recommend one thing: simply pair your swagger with gender bending fashion choices. It really is that easy. When you find yourself in front of a crowd of 50,000 people, don't just play patty cake, introduce some fluid, sinuous movements. Why not? Right?

Now that we've got you a Mick starter kit, you're moments away from Mick Phase II where you'll capture the attention of screaming fans every time you enter a stadium. You might as well block out the Superbowl halftime show just to make sure you're available. But first, you're going to need a tight shirt. Really this advice is obvious. These baggy jeans everyone is wearing these days are unimaginative and mimetic. If you want to be the next Mick Jagger, you're going to have to go a size down (maybe two), Tight pants. Tight shirts. And tight skivvies if you wear them at all.

Now, you have to look people (or cameras) in the eyes when you sing seductive lyrics, whenever possible, make sure your eyes are piercing through their soul to the diving asunder of soul and spirit. And hold the microphone like you're making love to it.

One things to always remember. Don't release second rate B sides without first putting out a few chart smashing hits. Take it from someone who knows first hand, as a former professional rock musician. You'll appreciate the extra mileage afforded to you from a tune that is fitting for world domination. You'll thank me later.

Now that I've demystified the formula for Mick Jagger style transcendence, you're prepared to apply your own form of other worldy personal magnetism to everything you do from here on out.

Beyond that really, all I need you to do to be great is to stop being mediocre and start being incredible. It really is that simple.

That's it for this week.

Remember: The Lorem Ipsum owns the stage, if by stage, we mean your inbox. Make sure to invite friends along to enjoy it.

Have a great weekend!