A Story About Ghosts
How an apparition has spooked, terrified, and destroyed many in its path.
Hey Friends,
Decision 2024 is next Tuesday, and although the country is divided, the choice couldn't be more clear.
Gummy candies are better than chocolate. The Today Show had the debate.
In election news, with the exception of these two billionaires, no one's vote has ever counted quite as much as a 37-year-old Hispanic mom in Bucks County, Pennsylvania. As Allison Dagnes explained in her guest article on The Lorem Ipsum two years ago, Pennsylvania may have an outsized impact on the results, and it's not that fun.
It's worth reading again.
Alison Dagnes
In Today's Issue
I've written a seasonally appropriate article about the formless terrors of the ethereal world. Not everyone has seen a ghost, but most have been inflicted by its forces. Whatever your personal experience, many of you will find this relatable.
Here's today's Feature.
Tormented By Ghosts
Since the beginning of recorded history, humans have been looking for ways to destroy each other. In the days of the Sumerians and Akkadians circa 2300 BC, a spear through the heart may have been the first stage of innovation that pulled humanity out of the caves and into the future. It was an era where combat with bare hands and stones receded for more pointed warfare where the aggressor could be certain of the outcome. As if hunger and the jowls of predatory animals were not enough, the victims had a new fear, and commerce had a new industry to grow with the manufacturing of weapons.
The weapons industry has expanded evermore since then, with over 1 billion guns and the large weapons industry above $300 billion in the US alone.
Destroying humans has become a cottage industry, with more than a few ways to get the job done. Weapons of war are not the only option either, as some forms of destruction are considered quite simply a matter of business. Civil suits and the work of litigators have put people rightly or wrongly in a place of ruin, and if a jury of their peers agrees, behind bars for life, or perhaps in the electric chair.
Sometimes, the destruction is far more complicated and less physical by crushing businesses under lawsuits, putting people out of jobs, or by putting the poor in impossible positions that they can never get out of without luck and with the help of someone who may otherwise destroy them.
Human destruction expands even to the creation of cancer-causing agents in agriculture, poor food quality, and perhaps worse, social media. The worst of social media is most certainly dating apps, which purport to help people find or create love, but instead, through a clever game of roulette, destroy one's sanity, sense of safety, and self-esteem while trivializing our deepest relationships as if they are something that can be bought on Amazon. Relationships now come with free shipping in some zip codes. If you like the reviews, it's only one click to "Try Before You Buy." It's even easier to send it back.
But of all the ways humans have been destroyed, the most effective way to destroy people and the relationships between them is by ghosting them.
It requires little effort and no heart. Simply pierce them through the gut by ignoring their message, however heartfelt it may be. For a relationship created on such a wafer thin foundation, it's hardly a wonder it is so easily shattered. But ghosting someone is not only reserved for dating but for anyone in your orbit whose music you can't face.
No weapon has outdone it. Even the nuclear weapons dropped on Japan by the US in 1945 did not leave behind as much damage, as it ended a world war and led to one of the strongest allied partnerships in history between the two countries.
Dropping the world's greatest weapons requires calculation, math, and willingness to face the consequences publicly. To simply ghost an ally requires fear and a cold lack of regard for the person or country on the other side. Ghosting is what prompted the Cuban missile crisis, where Cold War isolation and incorrect assumptions between enemies nearly led to a nuclear war. It’s an issue that has been remedied by establishing open lines of communication, even between sworn enemies.
The invention of the smartphone has brought rise to the greatest weapon of all time. It seems so meta, like creating a car door in the desert, simply so you can roll down the window to cool off. A communication device was invented, and because of it, blocking communication with the people around you is now a feature.
As with the Like button, one of the smallest features has caused the most damage. Especially since it is the go-to strategy for people across the world who wish to avoid their problems and destroy both their enemies and their loved ones.
Who Are The Ghosts
Ghosting is often attributed to those with "Dark Triad" personality traits, which was my Halloween costume this year. It's the only psychological condition that sounds like an occultic practice.
Psychology Today, says the following.
Ghosting comes most from those with Dark Triad personality traits, specifically those with vulnerable, or "covert," narcissism. Vulnerable narcissists are often highly self-invested, and they may have traits of both narcissistic personality disorder and borderline personality disorder.
Annie Tanasugarn Ph.D., CCTSA
What ghosting says about the ghoster is not pleasant. Sometimes, it says that the perpetrator would rather date a phone than an actual person. Other times, it says one doesn't have the emotional intelligence to navigate a real world. Mental health professionals call it "emotional abuse." I just call it a dick move. If you don't have the mental capacity to communicate like a human, it's unclear whether you are one. On the other hand, Gen Z, the most skilled at ghosting, may be an evolutionary fork in the road for our species.
To put it better, here's what the mental health website Verywell Mind says.
Despite ghosting being normalized, it's more about the problem the ghoster is having than it is about you. Ghosting says a lot about the person in many different ways. For instance, it could say that they lacked the courage to do the right thing by explaining why they could no longer continue a relationship with you.
The person or people who ghosted you didn't treat you with integrity and, therefore, did not consider the implications of their actions. It could also signal that they may not care about their actions and are inconsiderate or unreliable.
Ghosting is a form of silent treatment, which mental health professionals have described as emotional cruelty or even emotional abuse if done so intentionally
editorial process:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/ghosting-954e1be6f0194a8a854806eef14f0047.jpg)
The Gottman Institute talks about the harms of ghosting, saying that it usually comes from a fear of confrontation, which ironically makes matters worse by hurting the ghosted, and by depriving oneself of better mental health and the personal relationships that make life rich.
What's more scary than the ghosts that haunt our homes and abandoned warehouses are the phantom figures seen in the shadows that haunt our relationships and our phones. And this haunting is destroying more individuals and their relationships than the most powerful weapons of war ever created. It's terrifying and dehumanizing. One may believe they have a real relationship until they find out that what they thought was a real friend or lover may have been nothing more than a ghost.
It's not the people who are ghosts these days. It's just their actions. If we don't get a better handle on the way we navigate our relationships soon, we won't know the difference.
That's it for this week.
Remember: The Lorem Ipsum is not an ancient spirit haunting inboxes without their consent. Share with a friend and let them know how they can get their own copy floating into their inbox each Friday morning.
Have a great weekend!