All I want for inflation is you and some leftovers.
Hey Friends,Good morning and happy Leftovers Day. I’ve eaten a lot of food so far this week and I feel very #Thankful. There are two things that are inflating right now.
Me, And the Consumer Price Index.
I don’t think President Biden is thankful for this kind of inflation anymore than I am of the recent 6% inflation of my waist since his approval rating has melted away like butter on a warm roll. Even a turkey dinner on Thanksgiving Day is about 14% more expensive than it was last year.
Are there any leftovers?
Yes. There are plenty of Leftovers to share in The Lorem Ipsum this week. I did not post any articles on my website, because I wanted to give you something that is just for you and not for Google or Bing to find in a random search result for “placeholder text” or “examples of misusing commas,”. No, this is for subscribers only. And let’s be honest, the news is low on our list today, so it is low on this email too.
For now, I’d like to share my Thanksgiving reflections.
Soaking Up the Moment ...and the Gravy.
Every year, during this time, I sit by the fire enjoying my first cup of coffee and I take the time to do something very special to me. I close every tab that is opened in my browser. It’s surely a weight lifted off my shoulders and even more so my computer’s processor.
Other than a little me time, my wife and I have developed some precious traditions after two decades of being together as well. Of course, like most families, many of them involve cooking. And like most families they involve me asking if this is enough potatoes, and her telling me no and reminding me that she meant it when she said she wanted the whole fifteen-pound bag to be peeled.
Thanksgiving is an important holiday to me. It is times like these when we are able to be together and take stock of what we’ve gained over the year. This is when we sit together as a family and stare at our phones and unsubscribe from all the email lists we’ve discovered we are on.
I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that I’m thankful for all the people in my life. Not just those who are trying to sell me something on the only day I am not buying anything, while also pretending that I am not checking my email. But also for all the people that will randomly text me to tell me Happy Thanksgiving out of the blue. This includes the people who I may have to ask “who dis” and it also includes all the people that have decided to put me on a group text filled with at least a dozen people who will reply to that group text with their own holiday greetings in return. Connecting with people I care for is what today is all about.
To that end, if you want to include me in your holiday text list, you can. My number is (317) 655-5740 and if at any point I reply “this is chad” or “STOP” just know that it is classic me and you can keep texting me, please. Any time of day. It really means a lot to me.
The last thing that means a lot to me is celebrating the Thanksgiving leftovers. If I’m being honest, I like a good feast to be right out of the oven, but the secondary meal deserves recognition too. That’s why I celebrate today as leftovers day. It’s also known as Native American Heritage Day, a holiday we mostly ignore. It is not lost on me that the Native Americans themselves received the leftovers of their own land while the Pilgrims took the first and best. There’s no need to worry, though because we won’t have to do anything to pay that back since it was not our generation’s fault, just like we won’t have to pay back the national debt that was taken out by our ancestors as well. We should all be hashtag thankful.
On another note, I’ve shared here before that I have written a book that is currently unpublished. Since today is a day we all eat leftovers, I’ve decided to share some previews of MADE FROM LEFTOVERS, right here and only here on The Lorem Ipsum Weekly. While I’m currently seeking publishing for the book, you’re getting an exclusive sneak peek.
Enjoy.
A Buffet of Leftovers
Bed Bath and Beyond Lucky
Speaking of Privilege, I had a waterbed. In a moment of home furnishing weakness, someone chose to get rid of a perfectly good one, and undoubtedly regretted it. After I got my hands on that piece of merchandise, my room was set. It had everything you would want in a floating sleeping surface except for zebra printed bedsheets.
A Blood Bath
My sister and I carried the plastic sheet filled with curdled blood, fluids and gauze out to the dumpster in the alley of our inner city home. It did cross our mind that there might be some questions if someone were to see us, so we kept a low profile.
Living on the Wedge
I went on a field trip with other homeschooled kids once, in which case I was required to bring a sack lunch. Mom prepared the following:
– One wedge of red cabbage
– One wedge of white cabbage
– Two whole carrots
– Two apples
Yale You
In my college years I went to Yale University. This was right after a stint at the Big 10 school, University of Connecticut. I enjoyed my time at both universities, but it was hard work and it was a week of my life that I will never get back.
What is Dolomite Anyway?
There is nothing in life that is more important than your own health, and my parents knew this as much as anyone. That’s why they made certain we had plenty of dolomite and peroxide on hand so we had what it takes to address any ailment one could be faced with.
Differently Financed
Poor people love their TV, a lot. What they don’t love is the term poor, so please keep this comment between us.
All The News That Is News.
When I started my first business, I was about ten years old. It was a local newspaper called Arsenal News. The slogan for the paper was “All the news that is new on Arsenal Avenue”. Our target market was all of my brothers and sisters, the demographic being ‘Herndon’s, aged 7-13’. The circulation was about 5 which was close to a 50% market share. Revenues were right around fifty cents.
Apparently, some things never change.
I hope you feel sufficiently teased. MADE FROM LEFTOVERS is about The Adventurous Escape from Poverty. Through this comical memoir, I examine its causes, the impact on people and communities, and why it should matter to the rest of us.
What do you think so far? Your feedback really helps. Reply here to ask questions or to share your thoughts.
But before I send you off, here’s The News.
Microwaved Warm Takes
Week 47 of 2021
Three high profile trials have been in the news this week.
The Killers of Ahmaud Arbery. First, the three men in Georgia who chased down Ahmaud Arbery ultimately killing him with a shotgun were found guilty of murder. After chasing the unarmed jogger in a pickup truck, blocking his path as much as five times, the men claimed they killed Arbery in self defense. No one agreed with them including the jury.
The Vigilante Kyle Rittenhouse. Kyle agrees with the Jury in his case. On Friday, he was acquitted of all charges stemming from the altercation at a Black Lives Matter protest where he ended up killing two people. Since then, there’s been talk of him getting offered internships working for politicians, but it’s unclear which party would fit him best.
The Silicon Valley Mogul Elizabeth Holmes of the now defunct startup Theranos took the stand in her fraud trial. Journalists covering the case say that on the stand Holmes was as cool as leftover Turkey, and as stiff as that canned cranberry sauce. It would usually be advised against by a defense lawyer, because now, Elizabeth will be back after the weekend for cross examination.
In Other News. President Biden is famous right now, not just for being President, but also for his poor approval ratings which have garnered lots of coverage. Most analysts blame his approval rating on inflation (or gas prices for the single issue voter). As a result, his ego is not inflating, but he is trying to win you back with some touting of economic positives.
For example, jobless rates seem good. They ended up being lower last week than anytime since 1969 dude. It’s important to note that an expert at Oxford Economics thinks it’s fake news because the seasonal adjustments kinda muck up the numbers when measuring them in a short window of time.
That’s it for the news for today.
That’s it for this week. I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Have a great rest of the weekend!