Articles Explain Russia To Me I want to start by answering your burning questions. Readers are asking “Hey Daniel, what’s going on with Russia? This situation has been keeping me up at night. It’s the only thing I can focus on between Anti-Vaccine Mandate and CRT protests!” So I decided to oblige and
The Weekly What the Pravda!? Hey Friends, Good morning and welcome to an email coming out of the cold cold Midwest. I don’t enjoy the cold, and while the only reason I live in the Midwest is because of systemic oppression (also the economic opportunity, cost of living benefits, and being born here!), I
The Weekly Welcome to you both! Good morning, I’d like to take a moment to welcome Liz Cheney as a new subscriber. Although I guess it’s possible that “censured4good66@*****.com” could arguably be someone else’s email, but it seems pretty obvious it’s her. I’ve been thinking about her and Adam Kinzinger
Articles Taking Action or Taking Resumes Why it is vital we have a Black Woman on the US Supreme Court. As you likely noticed, the job market has been getting a little complicated lately. The so-called “great resignation” has been vexing employers ranging from schools to meat packing plants. If you want something done right, you’
The Weekly Who is Miss Information? Hey Friends, This week, the Groundhog definitely saw his shadow, and they say that means we’ll have six more weeks of winter. But is that really true? To be honest, I’m not sure if I can trust Punxsutawney Phil. As his critics have pointed out, he has been
Articles The Miss Information Beauty Pageant The classic beauty pageant has served as a popular pastime for spectators as long as I can remember. Before the Bachelor(ette), it might have been the best TV had to offer as far as ocular experiences are concerned. Few competitions are more addictive, stealing the attention of even the
The Weekly White skin and tan teeth. Hey Friends, Good morning. I managed to make it to the dentist's last week. It had only been two four(+) years since my last cleaning, it was 2017. The visit was part of an effort at refurbishing a decades-old front tooth crown. I recall getting the color correct
Articles I’m Doing My Own Research I’ve gotten pretty good at cutting my own hair. I’ve been getting haircuts for my entire life, and (fingers crossed) hope to for many years to come. Additionally, having watched haircuts taking place albeit through a mirror, I’ve gathered quite a bit about the process. I’ve
The Weekly New CDC Updates Hey Friends, Good Morning. Unless you work at the CDC, of course, because you’ll probably change your mind soon. Who knows? Maybe mornings will be shortened by half. Perhaps we’ll learn that consumer-grade mornings are not as good as medical-grade mornings. Anyway, let’s see what happened this
Articles How to Rock The Vote Even Harder The first time I ever voted was when I was about eight years old. My vote didn’t count, but it meant a lot to me. It was during an election day marathon on Nickelodeon. A young TV personality invited us kids to call in by phone (with our voices)
The Weekly I feel attacked. Hey Friends, Good morning. The Lorem Ipsum is already being used against me. Just this week, I was pressured to try things I was normally uncomfortable or uninterested in. Like exercise for example. Why would I practice lifting something while I am laying down? I may never do that in
Articles Death by Herd Mentality We are basically just pretending to like things because the crowd likes them too.
The Weekly This is how I killed Betty White Hey Friends, Good morning to everyone except me, because I think I killed Betty White. It wasn’t intentional. Last week I provided you with a recap of the news as always, which ended with a story of Betty White. This email was finalized in the late evening hours of
Articles This is why we can’t have nice things. Over the course of last year, I’ve been thinking deeply about what I consider to be very important topics. Like whether I should add cheese, sour cream and guacamole all in the same burrito bowl despite their similarities in texture and flavor profile–not to mention added fat. Or
The Weekly This is the last one. Hey Friends, This is the last day of the year, as far as we know. I say that with some skepticism because we said the same thing last year this time, but that ended up not being the case. Instead, 2020 was the year that lasted forever. Covid cases are
The Weekly The truth about Santa Hey Friends, Good morning, and Happy Christmas. This week I tried to do a lot of not working, but that only went so far. Lots of people needed help with their marketing and not all heroes wear capes, so I came to the rescue. I’m excited for tonight’s
The Weekly Is that from a bourbon bottle? Hey Friends, Good morning to most of you, except if you work in R&D for an appliance company. If you are a long-time reader of The Lorem Ipsum, you know I am appliance challenged. I’ve written about it here. For example, the handle broke off of our
The Weekly Which is Better? Cats or Dogs? Hey Friends, Veep Kamala Harris uses wired headphones. This means mostly nothing of course, but that didn’t stop her from making headlines for it this week. Personally, I now list my age as “unable to hold a phone to my ear”. But unlike Kamala, I am neither paranoid about
Articles Why Don’t We Consider the Facts? When it comes to everything, feelings matter more. At the Herndon household, we’ve always operated at a high level of optimization. Maximizing our time is important to us and sometimes that means you need to divide and conquer. That’s why when my wife decides we need something from
The Weekly Good Morning, It's The Weekly Variant. Hey Friends, Good morning. The omicron variant has been vexing us this week. For example, there are two instances of it in the United States. That is 0.0000000060606% of the population (approximately), so be careful. You could be next. I think we’re all most done with Covid news.
Articles Has the GOP turned from a Party to a Circus? I've gotta be honest; I'm afraid of clowns. I realize that clowns, in most cases, are simply people with colored wigs and strange makeup. But how creepy is it to see someone staring you directly in the eyes, with a painted silly grin on their face,
The Weekly All I want for inflation is you and some leftovers. Hey Friends,Good morning and happy Leftovers Day. I’ve eaten a lot of food so far this week and I feel very #Thankful. There are two things that are inflating right now. Me, And the Consumer Price Index. I don’t think President Biden is thankful for this kind
The Weekly Would you rather fund the roads or get hit by a bus? Hey Friends, Good morning. I had a good week on Twitter talking about driving gloves. What do you think? My hands were warm and my grip was secure. Driving gloves: Acceptable or should the internet make fun of me? pic.twitter.com/DSgHgjpMtp — Daniel Herndon (@DanielHerndon) November 14, 2021 Anyway
Articles Biden’s Infrastructure Bill. A Conservative Win. In 1993, a comedian came to prominent attention with his unique and very relatable approach. Jeff Foxworthy released the comedy album titled “You Might Be a Redneck If…”. His signature bit was packed with jokes like “If when you cut your grass you find a car… you might be a
The Weekly Our greatest enemy is Big Bird. Hey Everyone, Good morning to several new subscribers this week. The Lorem Ipsum continues to thrive, keeping your inboxes warm while we sink into the colder temperatures and earlier sunsets. Also good morning to Elon Musk who probably needs it since he just had to pay a big tax bill.
