Bad Neighbors

Hey Friends,

Our neighborhood HOA meeting was this week, and I'm lucky I made it out alive.

The worst thing about owning a home is living next to someone. They leave their trash cans out too long, don't maintain their fence, and sometimes, they stare just a little too long at your daughters in a swimsuit. It's awkward, and I don't like it.

Having neighbors is the reason people own guns. Not just that, it's the foundation of the concept of governments. A man seems laid back at first. He doesn't care about where the exact property line is; you can wander around the lake anytime you want, catch fish, feed the ducks–until you try to move his fence. Suddenly, he cares about a lot more. Like whether you'll put a shed on your property, or a car with flat tires, or an oil refinery. To solve these problems, we'll come together. We'll draw borders. We'll create rules. There will be order.

But someone will have to sign off on these rules. Someone will have to remind everyone what they are and update them when the internet or AI renders them irrelevant. We need a committee, a congress, and meetings with minutes. We also need a leader. Someone passionate about this work. Someone charismatic and inspiring. Someone to represent us all.

It's a thankless job. No one really wants to do it. There's no money in it. But someone has to take the mantle, so we take turns. Sometimes, servant leadership leads you to the gavel. Sometimes it's an ego. Sometimes, an agenda.

Inevitably, some neighbor shows up who loves power. He figures out that you can actually make money, and more than you can imagine, if you're clever. He doesn't own your house, your daughter's car, or your dog walking schedule. But he holds the keys. Suddenly, the rules don't apply to him, and now he decides whether you can have that shed. He decides when your building permit is approved and when you are punished. He decides when you get a nasty letter. He is the law, and you are just a neighbor.

Now he's in other meetings with other HOA leaders, consolidating his power, and now he controls the whole south side of town, which you never asked him to do.

As far as I can tell, this makes the neighborhood worse, not better, because while he might get some things done, now we have factions in our neighborhood.

There are 56 homes in my neighborhood addition. There's one around the curve, and to the left, and honestly, I don't like how they live. I don't like their trees, their plants, broken mechanical equipment, and I certainly don't like their dog shit bags. But he owns his home.

Donald Trump is the president of one of the largest HOAs on earth. He's in a campaign to normalize conquest once again. We are all the neighbors, and someone is around the curve and to the left.

At first, it was Venezuela. I get it. They didn't paint their fence for like 8 years, and used their money to smoke weed. So what? Should we decapitate them?

Next, Iran was around the curve and to the left. They were the ones with broken-down equipment in their driveway. Their kids always played loud music, and they once had a toilet in their yard for like two weeks. So now we need to do something about it. Something with teeth. We have to bomb them.

In all seriousness, I don't like the loud music either. It's not good music. They might be bad neighbors. But a complaint is not a solution. Anyone honestly judging President Trump should know this, and I'll help the rest of you with a quick history lesson right here.

In 2015, the USA, China, France, Germany, Russia, the United Kingdom, and the European Union made an agreement with Iran, known as the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action or JCPOA, or "Jacó Pica," which is the name of a kind of beanish dip known to cause the trots in those whose stomachs are not acclimated. The agreement required Iran to limit the amount and level of enrichment for the uranium it stockpiles. Enough for energy, not enough for weapons.

In 2017, Trump withdrew from the nuclear deal with Iran, ordered the military general Qassem Soleimani to be assassinated, and then placed sanctions on Iranian oil. Iran responded to the sanctions, like any neighbor would, by following Trump's lead and reducing its compliance with the JCPOA and increasing its nuclear capacity. His "maximum pressure" campaign had the opposite effect of containing them. Iran ramped up its military force around the region through its proxy relationships with the Houthis, Hezbollah, and Hamas to put more pressure and distraction on Israel and the USA as a result.

In 2025, Trump decided to bomb their nuclear weapons development sites. He said it was victorious and that no further action was needed.

But the grievances of the cantankerous are never satisfied. So in March, he invaded the country's airspace to rain down "death and destruction from the skies all day long," as Secretary Hegseth put it. The American people didn't even know what the point of this war was, not to mention his own cabinet.

This week, Trump said we were done, almost done, and also that we are just getting started. Your son’s life is the replacement part for the wear and tear of the Trump machine. Dead soldiers are the cost of doing business. Our economy is the fuel, and to say that we are any safer sounds preposterous. If the Administration feels otherwise, they are not good at selling it. If they did, why should we believe them when victory was declared back in June?

When someone leaves their trash can out a little too long, it's not totally unreasonable to be annoyed. If they agree to keep on the side of the house, take it as a win. If you can't let it go, and every measure you take makes things worse, it's probably you who is a bad neighbor.

That's it for this week.

Remember: The Lorem Ipsum is always willing to lend you a stick of butter or a cup of sugar if your inbox will take it. Share with friends to pass on the neighborly kindness.

Have a great weekend!