Charles In Charge

Hey Friends,

Good morning to everyone who has been the subject of celebration this week. For example, me, since I had a birthday, after which I am now "Receives Lawn Care Tools for His Birthday" years old.

Also, King Charles was celebrated, and from what I heard, the Coronation was pretty great. At least according to the people that were born with invitations on their birth certificates.

The event is an important part of British culture. Think of it as an orientation for Charles Philip Arthur George's new job. The Coronation made his title bump official, so he'll now be known as King Charles III (not sure what the "I"s stand for.)

The event started first with a drive in the royal version of a Little Red Wagon^® known as the Diamon Jubilee State Coach.^®

Camilla sported a feathered hairdo which she purchased from Farrah Fawcett in 1982, and her dentures were whitened for the occasion. King Charles sported 47 hairs combed straight back using some of the most valuable royal hair care products on the market today.

The music during the event was reminiscent of Fantasia^® but twice as boring.

For the ceremony, King Charles, before The Archbishop of Canterbury, swore an oath to his duty as King, which consists mostly of tasks like "Being King Charles" and other duties as assigned, then a large purple crown was placed on his head in extreme slow motion. According to reports, the entirety of the movie Fantasia was played in the lobby while the crown was being placed on his head.

Good for Charles, if almost meaningless for everyone else.

If you'd ever like to have a coronation of your own, just remember that if you just skipped 26,041,667 Starbucks drinks, then you would have enough money to fund yours. So let's start saving.

God Save King Charles...

But before he does, let's get to The News.

Hot Takes

Week 19 of 2023

Faced Charges

Representative George Santos turned himself in to be charged with wire fraud, money laundering, stealing public funds, and lying on federal disclosure forms. Many of the allegations of fraud began to surface during his 2020 campaign after he was caught lying about everything from the size of his sweater to his entire resume, which didn't keep him from winning a seat in the House. After being arraigned, he is out on a $500,000 bond secured by three anonymous individuals. House leader Kevin McCarthy and other Republicans said they are standing behind Santos as a member of the House. There's no law against serving in or running for office while indicted, which has been good for Republicans as of late. Some political analysts have even suggested committing crimes could be considered a winning campaign strategy citing Mitt Romney's loss of the Presidency as proof since he's never even lit a cigarette. Santos has plead not guilty. (more)

Found Liable  

Trump was found liable for sexual abuse and defamation of the magazine writer E. Jean Carroll and ordered to pay her $5 million. Trump denies knowing the Writer (including in the Biblical sense), but the win for Carroll is a win for women who have long been silenced after sexual assaults because of fear of retribution. Trump did not testify in his defense; however, in his deposition, he essentially said that stars like him can "grab [women] by the p**sy" which did not seem to help his case. (more)

Faked Electors

At least 8 of Georgia's "fake electors" (quotations mine) have taken plea deals, suggesting they may be witnesses against Trump if charges are filed against him for tampering with the 2020 election. The Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis says a decision on charges will likely come in July, after which she turned to the camera and winked. (more)

Related: Trump is still running for President. He spoke at a town hall event hosted by CNN's Kaitlan Collins (AKA a "Nasty Girl" according to Trump) where he vowed to accept the 2024 election "if it's fair" unlike the 2020 election.

Forty Two

This week, Title 42 comes to an end. It's a Covid policy that allowed illegal immigrants to be immediately expelled rather than housing them for months to face a judge when seeking asylum. As the policy comes to an end, border crossings have surged, for which 1500 troops have been sent to the border to manage the overwhelming number of migrant crossings. The policy that replaces Title 42 is Title 8, which is 81% different. (more)

That's it for the news. Now here's The Gist.

The Diary of Cancelled Days

The Gist

Texas Shoots Itself in the Foot

Over the last few months, Texas has made news for mass shootings, including the Uvalde school shooting in May last year, the Monterey Park shooting in January, and a mall shooting killing 9 in Allen, Texas. Despite the presence of violence, the state legislature has increased access to guns, and expanded where guns can be carried. It was a change of course when just days after the Allen Mall shooting, the Texas legislature moved to raise the age required to purchase firearms from 18 to 21 following public outcry to change gun laws.

In Texas, authorities say they have seen an increase in spur-of-the-moment gunfire since September 2021, when the state began to allow most adults to carry a handgun without a license. The state continues to boast of its 1 million gun owners and its most permissive laws while, after every shooting, calling for more "good guys with guns," a strategy which we have proven does not work by being the country with the most guns per capita, and an outsized record on mass shootings and gun deaths in general.

The truth is, the only joke here is the politicians who claim to be acting in good faith but, in fact, are acting participants in the deaths of children and innocent people. At least they are the culprits who guarantee we keep our current statistics – turning mall goers and school students into one.

On the other side of the argument, it is true that gun laws are notoriously complicated, and the legislative process is contentious. One would hope, regardless of their stance on guns, our elected officials would at least act with the best of intentions.

But good intentions are not good enough when the deaths continue to mount.

For we have dumpsters filled with the diaries of our canceled days and oceans clogged with the same. Good intentions have saved few souls. Thoughts have outperformed prayers, but the former’s record is not much better. The truth is, doing is little more than trying when doing is no more than halfway.

That is to say; talk is cheap and good intentions are cheaper. It is high time to answer the question:

Is our right worth the cost of doing the right thing?

That's it for this week.

I'd love to hear your feedback in the comments. Thanks for being here and sharing around the world.

Have a great weekend!

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