Going to Eleven
When we die, we all hope to go to the highest place. Most blokes only make it to ten.
Hey everyone,
As someone who has memorized The Princess Bride from beginning to end, I am heartbroken that we have lost its creator. Rob Reiner and his wife were found dead on Sunday, and their son, Nick Reiner, has been charged with their murder.
The district attorney suggested he may pursue the death penalty, and when announcing charges, said, "My name is Los Angeles County District Attorney Nathan Hochman, you killed your father, prepare to die."
Nick's defense attorney, Alan Jackson, has represented Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey, as well as defending true-crime defendant Karen Read twice (he loves repeat customers). He implored the public to avoid speculation and let the legal process play out by insisting, “You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth!”
Trump, in an effort to display a sense of leadership to the country, said, "I wasn't a big fan of his..." he said about Rob Reiner, "He was not good for our country."
Robin Wright, of Princess Bride fame, who also played the First Lady in House of Cards, said, in her actual quote, “It is truly heartbreaking. Rob was one of the most loving, compassionate, and kind people I have ever known. He was an extraordinary director, and the impact he had on me has stayed with me throughout my career. My heart goes out to his family and loved ones during this incredibly difficult time.”
In response, Milania Trump said, "I'll have what she's having."
The Reiners had many friends express their grief. Peter Guest, known for his role in This Is Spinal Tap, performed a song to remember his longtime friend, "Lick My Love Pump." He turned his amp up to its highest setting.
Billy Crystal expressed hope when he said Rob was only "mostly dead," which means slightly alive.
And I say, with love, Rob, we'll see you later. To which he says, "Not if I see you first!"
"We live, we die, and the wheels on the bus go round and round."
– The Bucket List
Let's get to the News
Hot Takes
Week 51 of 2025
Good Morning and happy Hunger Games 2026. We have lots to report.
Vanity Fair published a series of articles featuring Trump's inner circle, with closely cropped photos and hero names like "The Enforcer" and "The Zealot."
Images showing great detail reveal that Karolyn Leavitt's perforated lips share more similarities with a business reply-by-mail tear-off than with a naturally formed human facial feature. The flotation devices feature several injection sites, disguised by poorly applied lipstick, typical of children her age, before the skill of staying within the lines is developed. Marco Rubio’s close-up depicts him as a powerful foreign policy hawk with a single hair growing out of the center of his forehead, as thick as a pube, and as lonely as Gollum, while Stephen Miller's shows his gut hanging over his belt, but stops short of drawing on his hair with a Sharpie. Each image pictures a consequential custodian of American power, with a booger hanging out of their nose.
In the article, Suzie Wiles, aka "The Enforcer," or sometimes called "The Lemur," was captured with eyes wider than the gap between the president and the first lady. She was caught dropping several bombs about the inner workings of the White House, including the fact that Kash Patel was not the only one with eyes popping out of his head. She described Trump as having an "alcoholic's personality," said that JD Vance was a conspiracy theorist whose transition from Trump hater to Trump harlot was "kind of political." The photos, which were produced by one of journalism's most renowned photographers, Christopher Anderson, were only lightly edited. Below, I'll show you a before-and-after of one of those images of Susie Wiles. Tell me if you can see the difference. In my opinion, it's a nice, clean, and natural-looking edit.
Brown University, after a mass shooting, is still hunting for the shooter, who is on the loose. The man was caught on several residential cameras before and after the event. This Take is brought to you by Ring® doorbells. Keep your home and university safe, with Ring.
A man attacked an Australian Hanukkah gathering on Bondi Beach, reminding us that some people still hate Jews, not for coming up with the whole idea of modern banking, but evidently simply because he and people like him are complete dicks and don't like tassels. Attacks like this have been taking place for thousands of years, and we wonder why they would bother annihilating their enemies when they perpetrate a deadly invasion and take hostages.
Donald Trump Junior got engaged, but not to his fiancée, Kimberly Guilfoyle, but instead to a new little number named Bettina Anderson, a "Florida Socialite," which basically means "unemployed, but fucking rich". At a celebratory event, he talked about how much he loved her and how thankful he was that she said yes, among other things, he was coached to say. Then, he reached into his pocket, after which he swiftly rubbed his fingers across his gums, something that many experts consider totally normal and not a sign that he is doing coke.
Plaque is usually a stain on your teeth, except when it's a stain on the walls of the White House. This week, we learned about the tartar on the walls of the Presidential Walk of Fame in the most revered building in America. The Trump administration has placed plaques under the portraits of each past president, highlighting their accomplishments or failures as judged by the world's greatest historian, Donald Trump.
Written in the tone of an email from Karen, complaining to the manager. Like a Truth Social post, it features random capitalization and irrelevant nicknames, and pictures Joe Biden as an autopen, saying, "Sleepy Joe Biden was, by far, the worst President in American History," all featured in burnished brass.
Even museums have an agenda.
Truthache
This is an episode about how to ditch your marketing job to start a liquor company (no experience needed).
When life gives Dan Farhrner lemons, we have an idea what he does, but we wanted to find out firsthand, so we had him on the show. It was just a few years ago when he, his wife, and a close friend started High and Mighty Distillery, which is now focused on his brand of canned craft cocktails called Shake Up.
We spend the entire session drinking responsibly while discussing entrepreneurship, trust in relationships, and what we think about the MyPillow guy running for Governor. It was a full-flavored conversation.
PodBean Development
That's it for this week.
Remember: The Lorem Ipsum is not afraid of commitment, and neither are our readers. Share it with a loved one, and if it doesn't work out, share it with another.
Have a great weekend!
