Grunge Theory
The best music of all time, and why we need to face the music today.
Hey Friends,
It is scientifically proven that '90s music is superior to all other music.
I know at least 17% of my readers will be in the comments on this one.
Despite the wildly successful British Invasion, '90s music still occupies the top of the historic graphs as the best music era ever by nearly every measure I can think of. The wild takeover of Grunge makes the British Invasion look more like a relatively boring backlog of undocumented immigrants waiting to sneak in to their court dates rather than an actual invasion.
In a taste test between Coke and Pepsi, more than 90% of participants agree that a music scene swaddled in flannels and cardigans has more musical potential than one in a tweed suit and Chelsea boots – no offense to the boots, or anyone named Chelsea.
It’s more than a feeling, too. Even the hit song "More Than a Feeling" doesn’t feel hard enough to outfeel Better Than Ezra, which ironically, is a mathematical equation whose solution is literally "Ezra," or in other words, itself.
I know all this because I’m an amateur historian and first-hand experiencer of the '90s, and a guitar aficionado of overly repeated Dave Matthews Band riffs at parties. I'm not annoying, but I know how to be, and it sounds like playing the opening of "Crash" over and over. In the 90s, it wasn’t Our Lady Peace through strength, because strength was a given, when you had guitar distortion and nothing to prove, except for your position on which was better between boxers or briefs (to which I say it depends on both your endowment and outerwear, in my personal experience).
What was also really great about the '90s was that we had no idea what was happening in the White House. When we found out, we subjected the president to impeachment proceedings. We banded together back then, because if you've fucked one citizen of the United States, you've fucked 'us all. A stain in the Oval Office was a stain on America, but the inner workings of government weren't distracting us from enjoying our dinner.
Now, we hear everything all the time, and it keeps us from focusing on what really matters. In the 90s, when we heard a tweet we didn't like, all we had to do was take out a beebee gun, and skat those fucking birds away to give you a moment of peace. Today, we're drowning in tweets, or the rebranded versions of them, and they are conflated with truth, socially, because everyone picks the peeps they like and believes them, no matter how ridiculous they are, and demands precious column inches all about it.
It's not that I don't think that what happens in government matters. I just think that we are awash in bullshit, and it keeps us talking about just that. It distracts us from the things that matter more, like whether we'll have a functional government in the next few years.
It may not be important for all of America to worry about how someone gets their rocks off. We shouldn't be focused on whether calling someone "Piggy" is a pet name for their sex victims, or just unprofessional. That's not going to feed the 42 million Americans who need assistance, and it won't create jobs or promise that we'll continue being a free country. It will just distract us from it.
That's why people unplug from Politics. It is exhausting enough that most of us can't take it anymore. Most of what we call politics isn't even that. It's just a (not so) Secret Lives of Mormon Wives blended with the West Wing to create the worst reality show in history, sufficient to make me 10% dumber every time I watch it–all with our well-being held in the balance.
A functional government that works for people is important, and if we unplug from that, we'll get more than the occasional fellatio in the Oval Office. The whole world will be affected by it.
We used to rely on the Congress to temper the Executive branch, the Justice Department to enforce the law, the Judicial branch to be its restraint, the military not to get involved in politics, and the voters to have a say in the whole thing. But very little of that is happening anymore. Instead, here's what is happening.
- Congress has spent the last year handing its power to Trump to lead by executive order, with little challenge, even when it has harmed their own constituents, for fear that they will be primaried out of office or subject to threats from MAGA. That is, until this week, when the House voted 427 to 1 to release the Epstein files—no word on whether the American people will be able to have healthcare.
- A New York Times investigative report released this week uncovered various ways that the Justice Department has been hollowed out and stacked with loyalists, with various DOJ attorneys being required to carry out Trump's agenda zealously, while filing charges against his opponents, whether or not they have evidence.
- The Supreme Court, which is currently flush with Trump-aligned justices, has repeatedly deferred to executive authority, first by ruling that a President is immune from prosecution, and then by issuing rulings that delayed or prevented any accountability for his administration's policies, even when they appeared to be illegal. I think this one is clearly debatable, but the deference has complicated everything else in this list.
- Trump's second term has seen unprecedented use of the military to control the people of the United States, by being deployed in cities for political reasons, under the guise of tamping down crime, which in most cases is already down, while also deporting human beings mercilessly, which is now, by the way, considered a core value of Christianity.
- And this week, Trump has pressured my very own Indiana Governor and legislators, among others, to gerrymander a red state to be even redder, despite significant public pushback, to make sure that we can always vote how we want, as long as the results are ensured to be in his favor.
Most everyday Americans, if you ask them what they did today, they'll tell you they went to work, watched TV, ate a sandwich, and tucked their kids into bed. Mostly, pretty regular stuff. Their life feels normal. It's not worth their time to pay attention to the government. I get it, paying attention is a burden. I feel it, too. The problem is that ignoring it has its consequences, and before I know it, it's a burden in my hand.
In the 90s, music was great and politics was about politics, with the occasional break for a story about an illegitimate screwing in the White House. Today, it's a political porn show. If we get distracted by the drama or check out altogether, then we'll be the ones getting screwed.
Before we know it, we'll be used to it and too exhausted to fight back. I think that's their plan.
On Truthache
Our relationship is built on trust, but sometimes, it's candy-coated.
In this episode, Mrs. The Lorem Ipsum talks about how she expects the raw truth, even when it hurts. But the guys on the mic point out that sometimes the truth hurts, and it’s easier to say that everything is going to be okay, even when you don’t know if it will be.
This recording was captured after we recorded an episode we didn’t even release (it wasn’t that good). After we ended the episode, the real conversation started.
PodBean Development
That's it for this week.
Remember: The Lorem Ipsum delivers every Friday, whether I like it or not. And it's okay, I can confirm, I've created my own prison. To keep me going, how about sharing with friends or upgrading to support my work?
Have a great weekend!
