How To Join Antifa

Life is a punch sandwich. You get slapped on the way in and socked on the way out. You're an easy mark in a world that's out to get you. Imagine starting your day with no other objective but to get a single joke to land, and just as you think you've nearly done it, you land a punch to the mouth instead.

That's the life of a comedian in the days of this administration. Just a few years ago, when Zelensky stood up to Putin, comedians were our heroes, with the good man himself getting top billing. But the administration would rather make them the joke, since they can't take one.

Comedy is dangerous, especially if anyone knows you're doing it. We're safe here in our tiny little newsletter, but in Jimmy Kimmel's case, at least 1.5 million people watched him every night plus another 21 million subscribed on YouTube. TV is a beast in a jungle filled with people swinging ratings at you like a machete, but as numbers go, those aren't small. But he was cancel after the FCC pressured the network.

We've come upon the actual cancel culture, and Nielsen Audience Solutions isn't the boss anymore. It's the government, and a guy named Carr is its driver.

America freaked out, and ABC brought Kimmel back.

But Brendan Carr wanted to clarify. About halfway through this video, Carr said in summary, that he wasn't infringing on free speech. He said all the Democrats (and, as he failed to mention, all the Republicans) who criticize him are projecting and distorting the work of the FCC. Perhaps saying “We can do this the easy way or the hard way” is just a polite way of saying we’re here to help out. For example, maybe when you want to help an old lady cross the street, you tell her you want to make her an offer she can’t refuse and give her these two options?

Kimmel is the comedian in this story, but it's hard to see how Carr can keep up the bit with a straight face after everything that has occurred so far. As usual, Trump hid nothing and said exactly what his administration was doing. Here‘s how he explains it.

Great News for America: The ratings challenged Jimmy Kimmel Show is CANCELLED. Congratulations to ABC for finally having the courage to do what had to be done. Kimmel has ZERO talent, and worse ratings than even Colbert, if that’s possible. That leaves Jimmy and Seth, two total losers, on Fake News NBC. Their ratings are also horrible. Do it NBC!!! President DJT (link)

And then.

I can’t believe ABC Fake News gave Jimmy Kimmel his job back. The White House was told by ABC that his Show was cancelled! Something happened between then and now because his audience is GONE, and his “talent” was never there. Why would they want someone back who does so poorly, who’s not funny, and who puts the Network in jeopardy by playing 99% positive Democrat GARBAGE. He is yet another arm of the DNC and, to the best of my knowledge, that would be a major Illegal Campaign Contribution. I think we’re going to test ABC out on this. Let’s see how we do. Last time I went after them, they gave me $16 Million Dollars. This one sounds even more lucrative. A true bunch of losers! Let Jimmy Kimmel rot in his bad Ratings. (link)

Trump wants the number one and number two late-night talk shows cancelled for disparaging him, forcing us all to rely on the internet for our content until that becomes illegal, too.

To protect his thin skin, he's used back-door methods, including lawsuits, FCC bullying, and SEC weight shifting, and the bully pulpit to get his way. Not even a thousand Tylenol babies could crunch these numbers down to any other conclusion. This was an attack on free speech.

A Trump speech is a gift to punch lines – as he demonstrated this week before the United Nations. But he can't bear to be out-monologued by a liberal. Most of all, he can't bear to have dissent, so he wield control over the media, and he’ll take it as far as he can.

Putin took control of the media in 2000 by putting financial pressure on the large media companies, and today the media submits to him. We see an identical strategy taking place here in America, and we're only 25 years behind them.

Why would the Trump administration attack the media? The answer is simple. It can bend public opinion to its favor and accumulate power, and he’ll use the Department of Justice to punish anyone who dissents (starting as early as this week as he goes after George Soros and James Comey with flimsy cases).

To take it a step further, Trump is building to leverage to crush his opponents. This week, the USA became the proud owner of an officially designated domestic terrorist group. The first of its kind in the USA.

Antifa, which sounds made up, doesn’t exist as an actual organization. They don't have a leader, they don't have bylaws, or a coffeemaker. They don't even have a website. The proud boys and girls of Antifa (not to be confused with the actual Proud Boys, who actually do have a website) should consider it a unique achievement to be formally recognized by the President before you even exist. Although Antifa is an ideology, possibly even a dumb one, it is not an organization. I checked.

Even an SEC company search results show no Antifa, LLC. I even capitalized the F in one search, despite the search criteria not being case sensitive. But Trump has issued an executive order to put them out of business before they ever get into one.

And now the administration can consider you a part of this terrorist group, along with all the comedians, journalists, and democrats giving President Trump greater power to shut down anyone who would have the audacity to stand up to him.

So if you want to join Antifa, you'll have to start one. But if you do, you're already a terrorist.

That's it for this week.

Remember: The Lorem Ipsum is not an LLC, it's a movement. Join the movement today by funding my work or sharing it with friends.

Have a great weekend!