Nancy The Diplomask

Hey friends,

Good morning to everyone except for Donald Trump's legal team.

I've got a lot of news for you this week, so I'm going to have to refrain from sharing the latest suburban tropes about lawncare or run-ins with HOAs.

Obviously, those things are important, but we have other matters to cover. This week's issue of The Weekly is as full as my yard is full of crabgrass.

Let's get to The News.

Hot Takes

Week 31 of 2022

Hey Daniel, I was trying to load up CNN's website and after the three minutes it took for the site to load (because ads are high maintenance) I gave up. I noticed Nancy Pelosi was in the news. I know she is not just a fashion icon, but a champion for human rights, diplomacy, buying large amounts of stock in tech companies, being rich, and tearing up important papers at the State of The Union. I'm not sure I'd give her or CNN a fist bump, TBH. Basically, I'm looking for the dirt. What else is she up to these days?

–Josh H. from Missouri

Well, Josh... Nancy has indeed been up to something this week. It's actually almost totally clear what she is doing and why – at least when it comes to color coordination. Her official diplomatic visits are less coordinated – at least with The Whitehouse. Let's take a look in the first of this week's Hot Takes.

Nancy and the Diplomasks. Nancy Pelosi visited Taiwan this week in a symbolic visit and the first of its kind in 25 years. The matching turquoise masks made the photo op with all the diplomatic designees really pop. The main reason for the visit was to celebrate Taiwan as a sovereign democracy situated next to totalitarian China – a place that is more like being at a church camp where there are all kinds of fun things you would like to do, but your youth leaders are making you participate in worship services. Except the religion is Chinese economic communism and the youth leaders are all Kim Jong-un. While un's hairdo makes him the subject of countless jokes, he considers it a symbol of power, and as a youth group member, you have none.

Pelosi didn't say anything about religion unless the religion is actually American-style democracy (the previous version from the early-mid 2000s where you would get to vote for your government officials). The Biden administration has refrained from endorsing her trip and says her running an errand says nothing about US foreign policy.

It's clear that China didn't appreciate Pelosi's diplomatic visit, given that they want to return their relationship with the island to the prior parent-child state, regardless of their people's desires (not to mention having aged out of the youth group stage). To respond, China has conducted military drills near the island, with Chinese missiles hitting on all sides of their land and too close to Japan for comfort. Japanese officials described China's missiles hitting their "economic zone" as "concerning". Essentially, Japan feels like they were just minding their own business in the bathroom and China barged in and said it wasn't just their space.

Analysts look at the visit as a threat of escalation, especially in light of the nearby-ish Russian invasion of Ukraine, and Russia's alignment with China. (Here's more on the explosive trip)

Swirling Subpoenas. The Department of Justice has finally circled Ex-President Donald Trump and is now engaged directly with his attorneys, and it appears Trump's legal team has been preparing a legal defense, warning him that charges could be filed. According to sources who commented on the condition of anonymity, Fox News plans to react to the story by posting unflattering pictures of Joe Biden. (The story is developing)

Who Does Number Two Work For? Osama's Number 2 was killed by the USA in a drone strike ordered by President Biden since it was his turn and each president gets at least one. Number Two, who is also known as Ayman al-Zawahiri is the current al-Qaeda leader known to have architected the 9-11 attacks after he decided to leave his career in the medical field. Although the education to become a doctor may be more extensive, becoming an international terrorist requires a little more than a technical degree. Afghanistan has claimed we violated their (This story drones on here)

Ron a Mission. Florida Governor Ron Desantis suspended Tampa's elected prosecutor, Andrew Warren, for pledging not to prosecute people who seek and provide abortions or doctors that provide gender care to transgender people. Ron's proudest moment was not that he was able to address two of his three pet issues in one statement, but rather that he was able to undermine the votes of the people of his state, likely practicing for a future run for President. (The details on the vendetta).

Alex Jones is Fake. Alex Jones is on Trial for defamation. He's the Infowars guy credited with spreading the conspiracy theory that the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting was fake, however, we're not sure if Alex actually exists in real life. Have you ever seen him and the moose head January 6th guy in the same room at the same time? Exactly. Anyway, the parents of a Sandy Hook victim are demanding 150 million in their lawsuit, however, Alex also claims that his money does not exist as well. The Jury decided on Thursday he will have to come up with $4 million to compensate the family for damages. (More un-fake news)

And Your Little Dog Too. Kansas state voters considered a constitutional amendment in their primary election which would ban abortion entirely, however voters said they wanted to abort the amendment, and their babies if they so choose. (More on the choice)

Cleared after 329 Years. Speaking of women's rights, it's been determined that the last person convicted in the Salem Witch Trials was not actually a witch. That's really it! That's the whole Take! (Witch Story?)

Real quick:
Representative Jackie Walorski (R-IN) died in a tragic car accident, along with two of her aides who were both under 30 years old. (More on that here)

As always, don't forget to let me know your thoughts. We need your voice.

That's it for the news. Now here's The Gist.

Is It Really Okay Boomer?

The Gist

My Grandfather Bob was born at a major time of change in the world and in particular, America. Unlike his parent's generation, he didn't think much about depression, because he never lived through one. And unlike his children's generation, to him, A.D.D. was a subject in school and not an excuse to go to the nurse's office.

Generational Change is Changing America. As a result of generational shifts, the world may be facing a new challenge that we haven't previously encountered, and it is reshaping American life. This is the first Serial from The Lorem Ipsum, a series of articles diving into a subject.

In the coming weeks, I'll dive into each one of these topics individually.

• Gender Equality
• Financial Mobility
• Climate Change
• Democracy

The first issue is open to the public. Future issues will be available to subscribers, both free and paid.

Thanks for reading. And as always, please share far and wide. You just might save the world.

Have a great weekend!