Our greatest enemy is Big Bird.

Hey Everyone,

Good morning to several new subscribers this week. The Lorem Ipsum continues to thrive, keeping your inboxes warm while we sink into the colder temperatures and earlier sunsets.

Also good morning to Elon Musk who probably needs it since he just had to pay a big tax bill.

This has been a big news week! Thankfully, The Lorem Ipsum has wrapped it up in a nice bow known as the HTML that holds this email together.

Today, I’ll talk a little bit about “expert advice”, which is now known as “propaganda”.

But first, The News.

Hot Takes

Week 45 of 2021

It’s Infrastructure Week. President Biden has signed a 1.2 trillion dollar plan to build a bunch of stuff modernizing the USA (I’m thinking roads, transit, and internet, but not sure if Comcast’s customer service will improve). The bill is similar in size to Donald Trump’s bill that he was unsuccessful in passing. Unlike Trump’s plan, this one is a socialist takeover since a Democrat is in the White House.

Secretary Pete explains How Roads are Racist. It’s silly to call a road racist, but it’s not silly to point out the way roads, highways, and bridges were designed to intentionally divide predominantly black and white neighborhoods. Pete was explaining this to a reporter who was trying to be a trickster. Later, Ted Cruz mocked him on Twitter showing that he doesn’t really understand the issues, since it doesn’t help him get elected.

Turns out Big Bird is a Communist. Big Bird has been pushing vaccine propaganda as a Government puppet (like actually a puppet). Ted Cruz decided to add his 2 cents and call out the Bird on Twitter. Meanwhile, the people in your neighborhood are still sitting at about 58% fully vaccinated.

Elon Musk has sold his stock as he promised he would after conducting a poll on Twitter to ask the opinion of 63.3 million expert followers and financial advisors. Elon said he would be using the money to pay taxes and maybe go out for a nice dinner or something.

Meanwhile, at Astroworld, rapper, Travis Scott’s Concert turned into a deadly stampede. Related, Travis Scott’s following has skyrocketed since the event, which is why they say “no publicity is bad publicity”.

Inflation is out of control. It’s at its fastest pace in 31 years actually, which means we’re all thinking about the cost of milk. You might want to get on the front end of it and ask your boss for a raise. Biden says he has a plan called ‘pass all my other spending bills’.

The Murder Trial of Kyle Rittenhouse is happening right now and besides killing some protesters, Kyle is now famous for his “ugly cry” face. The Jury was asked not to account for that when considering whether or not to convict him of murder or accept his claims that it was self-defense.

Commish One Six (my name for the January 6th Commission that theoretically would shorten this entry) has subpoenaed some more Trump allies including people like Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany and Chief of Staff Christopher Liddell. The Committee wants to pull back the curtains and if possible Kayleigh’s makeup to find out what happened leading up to the events that took place at the Capitol on January 6th.

The NFL is Irritated with Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rogers since he said he was “immunized” against Covid-19 which worked until he got Covid and word got out that he was referring to a months-long treatment that has no history of success. Turns out he was not vaccinated. The one person who was not irritated with Aaron was Jordan Love who got to play as starting quarterback for the first time since joining the team.

That’s it for the news, now here’s The Gist.

Is Big Bird a Bad Guy?

The Gist

Why can’t we trust those who we as a nation have trusted for so long? We used to look to medical professionals for advice regarding health and we would trust Sesame Street to help teach our kids positive values. Now that’s being called “propaganda”.

Big Bird for Adults

Anthony Fauci is our Big Bird. I write about both of them, and how the perpetually campaigning politicians seem to think we should trust them, instead of the experts. Read more.

That's it for this week. Have a great weekend!