The Lorem Ipsum, by Daniel Herndon (Page 10)

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Is this Propaganda?

Is this Propaganda?

Hey Friends, Do you think this email is propaganda? I mean let’s think about it. * I’ve pushed influential content on you to normalize driving gloves. * I’ve provided deceptive information like when I explained how I killed Betty White. * I’ve even pushed a biased narrative about which

Is This Propaganda? Let’s Take a Look.

Is This Propaganda? Let’s Take a Look.

Everybody has gotta work. We all have to eat and if you’re like me you want to wear a nice shirt while you’re doing it. So we have to do something to make money. If you’re lucky, you get to do something you believe in. We all

Somebody fix these potholes!

Somebody fix these potholes!

Hey Friends, If you’re wondering why this email feels an hour earlier, it’s because we just sprung forward on Sunday, and you haven’t adjusted yet. Losing an hour has put me just a little bit behind, but as usual, The Lorem Ipsum has been delivered on time.

Who do we blame for all these potholes?

Who do we blame for all these potholes?

I’ve spent the better part of the last month distracted and I’m sure I’m not alone. After all it is Tax season, and seeing red is incredibly distracting. Taxes are never fun, and seeing that you have a balance due is usually a recipe for a bad

Better than Britannica

Better than Britannica

Hey Friends, Good morning to literally everyone who is not a dictator of a country blocking access to free press. The Lorem Ipsum will always fight for freedom, as much as an email can. To that end, to ensure that the Lorem Ipsum is always the people’s email, I’

Too Soon?

Hey Friends, Good morning. Last week I took immediate action and sent you an email summarizing some of the events taking place in Ukraine. I also made jokes. The reviews were mixed. Here are some actual quotes * “Good writers take risks. You are a good writer.” * “Honestly, I think we

When is 'Too Soon'?

When is 'Too Soon'?

About the ongoing struggle of those who make people laugh.

The British Invasion was better

The British Invasion was better

We’ve seen a historic invasion this week. While I much prefer the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, and the Who invading the US, Vladimir prefers to take the more medieval approach: conquest.

Invasions, Insurrections and Indictments

Invasions, Insurrections and Indictments

We’re resorting to invasions instead of invitations. Based on history alone, it appears it is much better to be the leader of a totalitarian government than it is to be, say, a homeowner. The difference is astounding. When you invade a country, you’re deemed a hero and a

Explain Russia To Me

Explain Russia To Me

I want to start by answering your burning questions. Readers are asking “Hey Daniel, what’s going on with Russia? This situation has been keeping me up at night. It’s the only thing I can focus on between Anti-Vaccine Mandate and CRT protests!” So I decided to oblige and

What the Pravda!?

What the Pravda!?

Hey Friends, Good morning and welcome to an email coming out of the cold cold Midwest. I don’t enjoy the cold, and while the only reason I live in the Midwest is because of systemic oppression (also the economic opportunity, cost of living benefits, and being born here!), I

Welcome to you both!

Welcome to you both!

Good morning, I’d like to take a moment to welcome Liz Cheney as a new subscriber. Although I guess it’s possible that “censured4good66@*****.com” could arguably be someone else’s email, but it seems pretty obvious it’s her. I’ve been thinking about her and Adam Kinzinger

Taking Action or Taking Resumes

Taking Action or Taking Resumes

Why it is vital we have a Black Woman on the US Supreme Court. As you likely noticed, the job market has been getting a little complicated lately. The so-called “great resignation” has been vexing employers ranging from schools to meat packing plants. If you want something done right, you’

Who is Miss Information?

Who is Miss Information?

Hey Friends, This week, the Groundhog definitely saw his shadow, and they say that means we’ll have six more weeks of winter. But is that really true? To be honest, I’m not sure if I can trust Punxsutawney Phil. As his critics have pointed out, he has been

The Miss Information Beauty Pageant

The Miss Information Beauty Pageant

The classic beauty pageant has served as a popular pastime for spectators as long as I can remember. Before the Bachelor(ette), it might have been the best TV had to offer as far as ocular experiences are concerned. Few competitions are more addictive, stealing the attention of even the

White skin and tan teeth.

White skin and tan teeth.

Hey Friends, Good morning. I managed to make it to the dentist's last week. It had only been two four(+) years since my last cleaning, it was 2017. The visit was part of an effort at refurbishing a decades-old front tooth crown. I recall getting the color correct

I’m Doing My Own Research

I’m Doing My Own Research

I’ve gotten pretty good at cutting my own hair. I’ve been getting haircuts for my entire life, and (fingers crossed) hope to for many years to come. Additionally, having watched haircuts taking place albeit through a mirror, I’ve gathered quite a bit about the process. I’ve

New CDC Updates

New CDC Updates

Hey Friends, Good Morning. Unless you work at the CDC, of course, because you’ll probably change your mind soon. Who knows? Maybe mornings will be shortened by half. Perhaps we’ll learn that consumer-grade mornings are not as good as medical-grade mornings. Anyway, let’s see what happened this

How to Rock The Vote Even Harder

How to Rock The Vote Even Harder

The first time I ever voted was when I was about eight years old. My vote didn’t count, but it meant a lot to me. It was during an election day marathon on Nickelodeon. A young TV personality invited us kids to call in by phone (with our voices)

I feel attacked.

I feel attacked.

Hey Friends, Good morning. The Lorem Ipsum is already being used against me. Just this week, I was pressured to try things I was normally uncomfortable or uninterested in. Like exercise for example. Why would I practice lifting something while I am laying down? I may never do that in

Death by Herd Mentality

Death by Herd Mentality

We are basically just pretending to like things because the crowd likes them too.

This is how I killed Betty White

This is how I killed Betty White

Hey Friends, Good morning to everyone except me, because I think I killed Betty White. It wasn’t intentional. Last week I provided you with a recap of the news as always, which ended with a story of Betty White. This email was finalized in the late evening hours of

This is why we can’t have nice things.

This is why we can’t have nice things.

Over the course of last year, I’ve been thinking deeply about what I consider to be very important topics. Like whether I should add cheese, sour cream and guacamole all in the same burrito bowl despite their similarities in texture and flavor profile–not to mention added fat. Or

This is the last one.

This is the last one.

Hey Friends, This is the last day of the year, as far as we know. I say that with some skepticism because we said the same thing last year this time, but that ended up not being the case. Instead, 2020 was the year that lasted forever. Covid cases are

The truth about Santa

The truth about Santa

Hey Friends, Good morning, and Happy Christmas. This week I tried to do a lot of not working, but that only went so far. Lots of people needed help with their marketing and not all heroes wear capes, so I came to the rescue. I’m excited for tonight’s