Predicting the Weather
The Midwest freeze versus the dry Western brush, and whether we can really predict the future accurately.
Hey Friends,
Sometimes, the next big thing is just an 8 track tape. It comes on the scene with much excitement, only to be tossed aside.
People will laud the benefits of not having to flip a cassette over to listen to B sides or brag about its capacity over other mediums. When people move on, some holdouts will refuse to concede. But that won't matter.
People often resist change and new ideas, too. Even those that will ultimately endure. When Burger King started taking credit cards, many pushed back on the idea, only to find they, too, would be financing their fries soon enough.
On Monday, a new administration will begin, and we don't know what we'll be saying about it in four years. Is it an 8 Track or Financing Fries?
Many are sure they know the answer. History reminds us that people will always have a hot take, but when things cool off, they rarely keep at room temperature.
Let's get to The News.
Hot Takes
This 3rd Week of 2025
Hegsething our Bets
Pete Hegseth, the Fox News host who doesn't wash his hands appeared for his confirmation hearings this week, with republican kingmakers pushing to protect Trump’s pick for Secretary of Defense. Some say Pete is not qualified to hold such a large position, having only served in platoon-level roles in the National Guard, but Trump's team says that's hardly important, given his television experience and a great head of hair.
Pete was pressed on topics including his checkered history with drinking and accusations of sexual assault, but he handled most questions quite well. It remains to be seen if he'll get confirmed, with a couple of Republican holdouts, but whatever happens, if you want to clean up Washington, I'd say start with Pete's hands and then go from there. (more)
Fired Up
The fires in California continue to rage, with winds blowing so hard that people suspect it may be hot air from Gavin Newsom himself. As firefighters attempted to get blazes under control, hydrants struggled to provide enough water, causing many California natives to reach for almond milk, the one liquid in generous supply in Los Angeles. As emergency professionals poured fire retardant over areas to reduce the spreading of flames, a West Coast advocacy group issued a call to end the use of the word retardant.
Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass has been facing harsh criticism for her response to the emergency, including her choice of an overseas trip and her administration's failure to ensure hydrants could pull all the water in the state to one location on demand. But we can't even flush a toilet while someone's in the shower without ruining their water pressure. I fear for the reputation of the fire department, or anyone dropping a deuce for that matter. (more)
Cease Fire Now
A ceasefire deal was negotiated between Israel and Hamas, with help from Qatar and the USA. Now starts on Sunday if an Israeli vote delay doesn’t push it out further.
Qatar’s Prime Minister Sheikh Mohammed bin Abdulrahman bin Jassim Al Thani said he hopes the ceasefire will start this weekend, and he hopes it will be longer than his name. Trump took full credit for the deal. Biden also took full credit for the deal, despite the deal resembling one he had been proposing for over a year. No one took credit for starting the war itself. (more)
Jacked Smith
Jack Smith, the special counsel prosecuting Trump in two cases, has resigned officially. On his way out, he received permission from a Judge to release his report on the January 6th findings. The report includes damming details and some of historical significance. Specifically, the report exposes that, on the day in question, Trump's staff failed to supersize his value meal. (more)
SharkTok
Shark Tank’s Kevin O’Leary made an offer to buy TikTok. If the deal goes through, the group intends to remove the platform's algorithm and other features and replace it with an ice cream scoop, used to manually remove the contents of the user's brain. (more)
That's it for this week.
Remember: The Lorem Ipsum now accepts credit cards, for those who wish to support my work by increasing their debt to income ratio. But investing in an appreciating asset is always a smart financial move (meaning me appreciating you supporting the work I do from where my ass sets).
Have a great weekend!