The New East Wing
The White House is Sauced Up and more in this week's news.
Hey Friends,
Some of my biggest fans have been speaking up.
My most loyal readers, including, most importantly my wife, and also, least importantly, literally no one else, have been tell me they want the Hot Takes.
"I miss me some Hot Takes," one reader said, speaking on the condition of anonymity, while still being my wife. "I want quick and dirty," she continued. Which I naturally accepted.
So today, I've got it.
Let's get to The News.
Hot Takes
Week 43 of 2025
Demolition Nation
The White House is under construction after Trump determined he would abolish the entire East Wing in favor of a new ballroom. The project starts at a perfect time, when no government employees are in the way, thanks to the now three-week-long government shutdown. Demolition crews can be confident they won't be interrupted by government oversight from National Capital Planning Commission representatives that would slow progress. At this point, healthcare can wait, the ballroom is the President‘s main priority.
Trump says donors, including him, are paying for the whole $300 million build-out. We can assume that includes donors seeking favors and sponsors vying for recognition. One source tells me there has been interest in naming rights from the large wing restaurant chain, Buffalo Wild Wings, which has suggested naming the new addition Buffalo Wild East Wings.
Apparently, they tried to get the naming rights for the West Wing, without success. In those discussions, executives suggested product placement could come in the form of changing the names of the colors to represent their sauces. The plentiful golden features could be changed from "gold" to "honey mustard," and Trump's skin color could now be referred to as "mango habanero." Unfortunately, the chain didn't bring enough money to the table and was outbid by Qatar.
Department of Injustice.
In the meantime, Trump is seeking contributions from other sources by filing a demand for payments from the Department of Justice, which he asks to pay him $230 million. Ultimately, we're all relieved to know that he can't just take the money on his own. It will have to be approved by the office of the Attorney General Pam Bondi, who, fortunately, operates entirely independently of Trump's wishes.
NBA-Political
Once every 75 years, Haley's Comet streaks through the sky, and the whole world looks in awe. Similarly, every now and then, a high-profile case pops up that is not politicians indicting each other. That time is now. This week, an NBA coach, Players, and others were indicted on gambling schemes. This case didn't even involve baby oil, much less Letitia James.
Miami Heat guard Terry Rozier, Portland Trail Blazers head coach Chauncey Billups, and former NBA player Damon Jones are the three league figures named as facing charges for mafia-linked gambling rings. So naturally, since this was, finally, a story that was not political, Wolf Blitzer decided to ask Congressional Minority Leader, Hakeem Jefferies, for his thoughts on the charges. (more)
Ceaseings Greeetings
Campus protestors who called for a ceasefire in Gaza have been absorbing news of the ceasefire achieved. Many are lamenting the outcome because they didn't realize how international politics actually worked. One protestor said, “If I had known we would have actually gotten a ceasefire, I never would have protested to begin with.” Mark Ruffalo, who has been outspoken in calling for a ceasefire, when asked to comment, said absolutely nothing.
The ceasefire, while it has been holding, has been volatile, with some small flare-ups in fighting from both sides. The US admits there is a lot of work ahead to maintain peace and ensure Bibi Netanyahu holds to the deal, which makes American diplomatic partners more like "Bibisitters" than anything.
How Bad Can One Bunny Be?
The NFL has faced criticism for booking Bad Bunny for the Super Bowl Halftime show, including from Kristi Noem, who says the NFL is "so weak" and that ICE agents would be all over the place at the game – Mr. Bunny is a Spanish-speaking Puerto Rican, which means he is an American citizen. In response, NFL Commissioner, Roger Goodell says, "I don’t think we’ve ever selected an artist without blowback..." but he stands by their decision to book the popular artist, despite having what you might call a "Bad Hare day." (more)
That's it for this week.
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Have a great weekend!
