This is the last one.

Hey Friends,

This is the last day of the year, as far as we know. I say that with some skepticism because we said the same thing last year this time, but that ended up not being the case. Instead, 2020 was the year that lasted forever.

Covid cases are at record-breaking levels with hospitalizations surging, notably for children. Ideally, we’ll just ignore this information and start talking about some concept called herd immunity.

As we wrap up the first year of The Lorem Ipsum (and this 20th time I’ve sent you an email) I’d like to reflect on something that is very important to me, that I hope is important to you as well.

No Show Socks

Like every year, this year I received socks for Christmas. This year it was specifically no-show socks.

For years, I’ve been hunting for the perfect no-show sock, and part of the requirement is that they “work”. That is, they don’t slip off with normal use.

I still haven’t found them.

I hope the person that is proofreading this email and is also the gift giver does not edit out this story. (Seriously though. Thank you).

Here’s to a New Year.

But before the countdown, here’s The News.

Hot Takes

Final Week of 2021

In Pandemic news, the CDC has shortened isolation recommendations for people infected to five days because taking people out of productive life has caused too many problems. Covid was asked directly for its reaction and responded with “That’s convenient”.

The White House is struggling with what actions to take.

As the World Burns. The world may be on fire in a lot of ways. In the case of Colorado, it is literal fire. The rare December wildfires were said to be the state’s most destructive.

Have you been paying attention to what’s going on in Russia? Russian President Vladamir Putin (Pronounced “Poo + 10”) has been getting their military dusted off as if perhaps to be put it to use. The Kremlin has also funded a “patriotic education” program which includes building a uniformed youth army. Foreign policy leaders are concerned because the Russian public could begin glorifying the military and favoring the idea of war…

…you know, like the USA.

2021 wins awards for most expensive weather with over 18 events costing more than a billion dollars each in damage. Not taking substantial actions on climate change is starting to sound expensive.

John Madden died, but his pixelated image will live on forever in old video games that are nothing like playing football. NFL games will hold a moment of silence.

Ghislaine Maxwell was found guilty of sex trafficking on Wednesday and will face 65 years in prison, a vacation compared to the trauma she caused others in partnership with Jeffery Epstein.

Betty White won’t die. And we don’t want her to either because she’s America’s favorite grandma. She’s turning 100 in a couple of weeks. Her secret? Don’t eat anything green.

That’s it for the news. Here’s a brief recap of the year.

The Year Of The Ox

The Gist

In the Year of The Ox, The Lorem Ipsum has provided you 31 articles, 40 hand-drawn illustrations using only 1 color, 19 email issues, 1 bonus correction email, and 108 Hot Takes.

And today, I’m giving you my wishes for a Happy New Year. Thank you for reading.

See you in 2022!