Bad Numbers

Hey Friends,

Good morning to everyone, except for democracy, a concept once based on the idea that everyone gets a vote in their government. While most people are currently still allowed to vote, the Voting Rights Act is a shell of what it once was, thanks to the Supreme Court. The court reminds us, in its 6-3 ruling, that we are not allowed to sort people by race, as a voting map in Louisiana has done in both directions. To sort them out, or into a more influential position as a voting demographic.

This is a complete conundrum. Worse than choosing a spice level at an Indian restaurant, which I contend comes down to how many shakes a line cook drops in a bowl of curry. How hard will they tap the sprinkle container's back end?

These details matter. As it is, it's hard enough to pick a color; Yellow? Red? Green? Massaman? But my favorite color is blue, and now I have to decide how many times to tap it and how hard.

The real question is, can we even sort by color? M&Ms all taste the same, to my buds, but why is yellow the best? Does affirmative action apply to candy consumption? Should I eat more brown ones to provide equal protection under the law of melting in your mouth and not in your hands? Is this some kind of confectionery race theory?

Let's think of it this way: if I sorted people by the color of their teeth, I probably would hang out with a lot of coffee drinkers, but not many people who took the antibiotic tetracycline during the developmental stages of childhood. Imagine if your hair color were a factor in qualifying for a job? With the exception of the Fox News desk, this would be unheard of. I hear them saying, "He had a great resume, but his hair was (gulp) a mild Auburn color."

What if having short Achilles tendons qualified you for Affirmative Action considerations? Perhaps Kenyans would lose their winning advantage in Olympic running events.

We all hope for a world where hair color, platelet count, iris patterns, retina scans, and facial geometry are not a factor in how we regard one's value. But the question keeps coming up. Either we should sort people by those details or we should not. It seems like a yes-or-no question, but some groups of people argue that you can't until you can, in which case you should. Federal law prohibits discrimination, except when needed. Someone gets to decide when that is, and that person is always changing, like a line cook in a team of line cooks, all with differing arm strengths and the torque of their humerus.

In the case of Louisiana v. Callais, partisan gerrymandering is the problem. Racism is the talking point. SCOTUS ruled, in interesting timing, to comment officially on how legislators pick their voters, and whether or not they can, and should. Congress is the only one that can eliminate the problem of partisan gerrymandering; SCOTUS can only tell us if the way it was done is constitutional. Tangle gives us a well-thought-out take on the topic if you want to read more.

I don't know how long racial sorting and the friendly form of discrimination afforded to us by the 14th Amendment should last, but it strikes me that it might not be forever.

All that to say, good morning. You are reading The Lorem Ipsum.

Let's get a little of The News.

• If I’m accused of attempted murder and indicted next week, it may be because of the content of this newsletter. James Comey, for one, has now been indicted by Trump’s DOJ because he took a picture of a pile of shells arranged in the shape of numbers. In this case, the 13-year-old who made the design would be an assassin. Following is an image of his post. Please note that parental discretion is advised. Or read more about the case.

• Trump has survived another assassination attempt, just before the White House Correspondents' Dinner. This event confirms he needs a ballroom, for national security, as the president can only go to a secure place in the White House, the Middle East for business meetings, and to every 5-star golf course on earth. But not a hotel. Should this be investigated? Some Republicans say "nah," but it definitely wasn't a false flag. Fox News has more.
• The Strait of Hormuz remains as blocked as an MLM recruiter on LinkedIn who sent you a DM asking if you'd consider joining his team, and there is no end in sight. If you want to get your hands on some oil, you'll need to pay a premium, now priced at its highest rate in four years. Here's more.
• Epic Fury made its way into Congress, with Pete Hegseth testifying, flask in hand. He made it clear who in this war is the real enemy. It's anyone in Congress who is against it.

That's it for this week.

Remember: The Lorem Ipsum does not draw partisan lines, except around your inbox. Please remember to share it indiscriminately with friends.

Have a great weekend!