Wrote an Article

Hey Friends,

Good morning to everyone, except for Ted Turner, the creator of CNN, who died this week, which now requires you to watch nonstop news coverage about him for 24 hours straight, including expert analysis.

I'd also like to exclude Marco Rubio, who praises his boss for changing plans every 7 to 13 minutes, and Pete Hegseth, whose pocket squares only serve to confirm his lack of judgment. Because of their incompetence, I call on both of their gas tanks to be found totally empty, and in California, just to teach them a lesson.

If I can be honest. I finally got writer's block. It only took me 4 years and 11 months, and 342 full-length posts to get here, but here we are. I barely figured out how to finish this very [sentence].

I had a nightmare once that I went up on stage to do standup for the first time, and I was so nervous, I could have peed my pants, but at the same time, I always get stage fright at public urinals, so I also couldn't pee my pants. So what happens to the pee when you can neither hold it nor let it out?

That's how I feel as a writer this week. I have lots to say, but it's hard to say when we're standing next to each other at a urinal. As I spiral on this topic, I fear my writing skills resemble Jefferey Epstein's, based on his purported suicide note, which read, “It is a treat to be able to choose one’s time to say goodbye. Watcha want me to do — Bust out cryin!! NO FUN, NOT WORTH IT!!”

It's hardly Shakespeare's final masterpiece, "The Tempest." That's because Jeff is a talentless prose butcher who is not safe around teenagers, and Shakespeare was a dramatist. I'd much rather associate myself with William than I would jeff. And that's why it's hard to admit that I have nothing to say, and if I did, I'm not sure I'd say it well.

In light of this occurrence, I'm going to close by talking about how we relate to our own identity, a thought that has been top of mind for me this week. We all have a picture of who we are in our heads. Whatever framework forms that identity often shapes and is shaped by many other beliefs. If something were to challenge that belief, odds are you wouldn't be able to hear it.

Let's take vegans, for example. There are some people who prefer not to eat animal byproducts. Then, there are vegans. One is a choice, the other is an identity.

When someone presents evidence supporting veganism, it's enlightening. But when presented with evidence to the contrary, it won't even receive a fair examination. This phenomenon is so powerful that people will starve themselves to death, convinced they are correct and everyone else is wrong.

While vegans are easy to pick on because of their muscle loss, failing immune systems, and lack of sufficient nutritional fats for brain performance, this situation is hardly limited to vegans. It also applies to "Naturopathic Doctors," "America First Conservatives," or "Flat Earthers," where beliefs are far less important than membership.

We all have deeply held beliefs that are part of our identity, and because of that, we are unable to see the corrective hand in front of our faces. That's why someone like Trump is able to sway conservatives, without ever being a conservative. It's why what is now known as woke ideology can control a whole party, despite sound logic and immutable facts. Because they know how to connect to our identity issues, supplanting any real sense of reason.

I want to believe I'm a writer, although maybe I'm not. But I promise, I will be next week.

That's it for this week.

Remember: The Lorem Ipsum never runs out of something to s...

Have a great weekend!